A Semi-Subconscious Self Portrait

Drawing inspiration from the mundane, regular, everyday type of stuff that surrounds us; average, unnoticed, omnipresent. That’s where I find the strange, the scary, the peculiar, the horrific. Much like the carnival sideshows of decades past, showcasing oddities and mysteries, my brain is both spectator and showman when I write. That sounds so esoteric and pompous, I suppose, so ridiculous yet it defines my creative process. I can only be egalitarian to a point, as far as my humble nature allows before I fall victim to self-induced humility and fall into that downward spiral that is routine nature.

Somehow, this rambling makes sense to my subconscious and my ego is enthralled. One day I may learn a thing or two from my subconscious, the distant world where all of my creativity stems from. It’s the well-fertilized part of my being, complete with a robust composting system providing nourishment and enrichment.

Confused? Me too, maybe to a lesser degree. This is my brain in raw action, after all, translated into words that a reader can understand.

Otherwise, if my mind was to get with the program, the doldrums of everyday work and life becomes the routine norm where innovation is scoffed at and free expression is shunned. The thick skin of humility blockades the acceptance of compliments, accolades, and accomplishments. We accept only what we have been taught in school about being nothing more than a number in the system, a little cog in a great machine, the pawn the corporation sees as expendable and thrown into the basement to work next to the boiler room. These things really happen, some figuratively, some literally, others fictional. You get the point. I think.

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2 thoughts on “A Semi-Subconscious Self Portrait

  1. Well written and I like the places that this weaves into. I think that I am more open to those oddities at night, somewhat tired and worn down, and open in many ways. I am not like that in the morning. Some write vigorously for four hours in the morning. I can't even spell my name sometimes when I get up. I think (unless you have lived a complicated or damaged life) you have to find the mundane, the crazy, and the amazing in the world around you. News flash… it won't hit you in the face, it will just circle around you and let you inter-connect. I just read an article about a taxi driver locally that won the lottery, he says he is going to pay off bills (cool), maybe buy a house (great), and invest in his hypnosis business… what? A taxi driving hypnosis that wins the lottery? It writes itself. You have to be open and have some range to see that. What do you think of poetry and other forms of writing? Sometimes, because of the concepts you are talking about here… I end up writing poems, or short-shorts, or something different because my visions of the world don't always make a good story, but a good poem. I am not a poet at all, but I want to express in an abstract, different voice. I don't want to tell a story, move from one place to another, but work on one abstraction, work on one image, or put a few together. It is worth trying in your notebook – to see where pieces and snippets take you. When I get creative (writing a novel or a story) I find a notebook is great for the process, but it also gives you an overflow for the other ideas that come crashing in. Interesting post and thanks for sharing. More on Plain before I leave work today at 300. Be well.

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  2. I love the taxi driver hypnotist concept – cool story I could see you writing. Back in my high school and college years, when I first fell in love with creative writing, I used to do narrative and free-verse poems, with a similar style and feel to the language in the above blog entry. I drew a lot of influence from surrealism. During that time I shifted into short story writing applying my treatment of language, which tended to be much more colorful and liquid then my current shift into the darker, shorter, and complexity-in-simplicity style. I will play around with poems again, see where they lead, if for nothing else, to inspire the fiction. As for time of day, it's never the same for me. I used to be a late night creative, whether it was writing or painting, partially due to my life-long sleep disorder. Since that has come under better control and I actually can fall asleep at night, I write whenever I'm struck with an idea or inspiration, assuming my work and family life allow for it. So nighttime is still a popular time for me to write, but mornings work too. I look forward to your feedback on Plain. Thanks!

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